Hurting People Hurt

by V. Leacock- CA (guest contributor)

Proverbs 22:24
“Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go”

 Have you ever heard the expression, “Hurting People Hurt?”    I have.    A few years ago I sat spellbound as the keynote speaker spoke during a women’s ministry program.  Suddenly, and to everyone’s surprise, a woman sitting nearby spoke those words.  What was probably meant to be a whisper was quite audible. 

Over the years, similar to a “catchy” television commercial jingle, those words would replay in my mind again and again.  The question was, “What do those words really mean?” With time and experiencing unhealthy relationships I finally understood the meaning:  Individuals who have been emotionally damaged tend to inflict their hurt and pain on other people.     

“Hurting People Hurt,”   can be verbally abusive, accusatory, and irrational.  They can be a sibling, a spouse, a child, a friend, and even our parents.  Their choice of weapon is most often words.  They delight in using language that cuts to the core of your being.  You are left feeling disrespected and broken. “Hurting People Hurt,”   are also at their best when it comes to playing the “Blame Game.”  Their goal is to win at any cost with each unkind word that is spoken.  They are unwilling to recognize and take ownership that at the core of their hurt and pain is unresolved anger.

As a recipient of “Hurting People Hurt,”   while being verbally attacked I struggle for a comeback.  It is difficult to sit and not retaliate while having hurtful words hurled at me.  Who wants to look like a “Wimp?”   Praise be to Jesus Christ, there are no “Wimps” in the family of God.    Immediately the Holy Spirit reminds me, “Be still and be quiet; I will handle this.” There is a powerful sting in a moment of silence.  

“Hurting People Hurt,”   prefers working behind closed doors.  Consequently, you rarely see their true nature in public.  The truth of the matter is that they are ashamed and disturbed by their behavior.  In spite of that fact, their ego gives them a false sense of importance so they wear their badge of cruelty with honor.     

Conversely and ashamedly, I have been a perpetrator of hurting others.  Once I knelt in prayer and poured out my heart to God, He enabled me to identify the root of my anger.  I asked for His forgiveness and in time the negative thoughts I once held onto lessened and eventually stopped. 

Today I am no longer in bondage or blinded by what someone has said or done that could impact my well being as I travel this Christian journey.  I wear a different badge now…..The Cross of Jesus Christ.  For I have been sanctified and reconciled through the blood of Jesus Christ that was shed for me and even Hurting People Hurt” on Calvary.  

V. Leacock’s honesty is appreciated. We all know this person, but the sad thing is…often WE ARE this person. This article ministered to me in a major way. It’s being shared with you with the prayer that it ministers to you and those you know. SHARE and LIKE this article. Email the link above and send it to everyone in your inbox. Let the healing begin.

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