Last week I was so low: despairing of my present, questioning of my past, and uncertain about my future. So I did the usual: I cried, I prayed, and I isolated- essentially giving in.And after 24 hours of that foolishness, I gave up the pity party and went to the Throne as one who is called to it.
“Yes, Lord”? There my Father led me to consider Abraham and the grace of uncertainty that his story reveals. Yes. Uncertainty, on God’s end, is a function of grace. There’s a level of uncertainty that comes with life in this world, and I’m used to that, and like Abraham I’m still able to worship God and be ok (see Genesis 12:1-9).
But God, in His grace, sometimes increases that level of uncertainty. He showed me that He did that to help me (and Abraham…and you…) to rise that much more above my carnal, natural way of living (I’m born again, you see). The increased uncertainty forced me to choose between sinking into the flesh (depression) or reaching out to God in faith. I obviously did the first for a while, but thank God I answered when He called me to His Throne. And it was there that He reminded me of Abraham and then Israel at the Red Sea.
This is what I received from my Father: When we are going ‘through’, we must look back and recall God’s last words to us and our last experience with Him. We must also recall His promises regarding the future. Doing this puts the “valley of the shadow of death” into perspective, for it lies between the green pastures and the table. It is the Shepherd that leads.
So I recalled the past- when God called me to be His ministering servant- and the multiple confirmations of His call. Then I recalled the future. I LITERALLY went to the back of the book: Revelation 21-22. I reread the end of the story…my story and I worshipped my God who will use my present to bring about that future.
I look back on last week tenderly and with watery eyes. I learned that uncertainty is a function of grace, and spiritual development is a result of uncertainty (our rising above it). This revelation has changed my prayers, to say the least. Ask me how.
The other part of this tale is that God used the TeleBible Studies broadcast of last week to trigger my thoughts regarding Abraham. I hope to see you at our next study. If you’d like a downloadable copy of the audio of lesson 10, let me know. I will send it to you.
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